True Self… Naked and Exposed
by Roger Cole
Dr. Roger Cole recalls the transforming insights he gained when he explored death and dying with one of his groups
One of the outstanding benefits of accurate self-awareness is a relative freedom from the needs and dependencies that normally govern our lives. It also establishes a new frame of reference for the terms purpose and meaning. Such orientation and freedom enables one to experience peace and contentment, without leaving ‘worldly’ responsibilities behind. It is a liberated state, yet influential, with the potential to create a far better world.
In the care of the dying we are occasionally privileged to witness this potential. In the mid-seventies Elizabeth Kübler-Ross wrote a landmark book On Death and Dying. In this she outlined five stages of adaptation to a terminal condition, those of anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. When the final stage of acceptance is manifest, we can see the example of the original nature of the soul emerge. And within this example is merged a mirror of opportunity; the opportunity to discover our true self.
About a year or two ago I was asked to speak to a group of hospice volunteers about spiritual aspects of care for the dying. During the discussion I talked about this state of acceptance. Not as one that simply acknowledges death but as one that engages that outstanding beauty of a soul. In the hope of a demonstration, I asked if anyone had ever witnessed such beauty at the time of a death.
One of the group, June, volunteered that she had. Her mother’s death had been like this, one of true acceptance, despite the fact that she lay there, withered and utterly dependant. “It was beautiful,” she said. “My mother was radiant with peace and the room just filled with her love. Everybody there was uplifted and happy by her company. She appeared so contented. It seemed as though she was surrounded in light…like an angel. I will never forget it. It was really special.”
It is wonderful, isn’t it, that such a grace can emerge at the time of dying? June and her sisters were with her mother when she was dying. I prompted June with a few questions. “Was your mother worried about any of you at that moment in time?” “No”, she said. “She knew we were there, but she was beyond concern about how we were feeling”.
“How about her looks and circumstances?” I asked. “Was she bothered by her appearance, or about the disease, and the fact she was dying?”.
“No…,” she paused. “…mum was at peace with herself. It was as if her body had ceased to exist. Only serenity remained, and there was no fear there at all.”
“How about all the problems of our world?” I asked. “Was your mom troubled by all the conflicts, deprivation and confrontation that are going on?” June laughed, entertaining a fleeting memory. “Oh, mum always had an opinion about everything. She used to get into a real state about it all. Really angry or really sad. But now you mention it…no, she wasn’t troubled at all. I guess she must have just let go of everything…,” she faltered, searching, “…she had let go of everything.”
This last statement had a profound effect on the room, the words were charged with positive emotions. There was pause, then a short silence that was full and unifying. The group vibration resonated with peace and harmony, as I measured the final question.
“In letting go of everything, just before she died, did your mother appeared to be carrying the burden of any of her life’s roles or responsibilities?”
“No, she had become completely free...completely free!”
In those final conscious moments of her life, June’s mother had become completely free. And liberated. Freed from all concerns of living. In the essence of her soul and ‘living spirit’; liberated—yet still occupying the wasted remnants of her physical body. As such, the soul stood naked and exposed, revealing her true and authentic self. I regard this to be fully manifest acceptance and would describe it as a state of grace. Or as one of true dignity. Most people feel that loss of dignity is attained where there is a dependency, or the need for help with their bodily functions. I believe this to be a misconception which reflects human ignorance. An ignorance born of body consciousness. While we will be exploring this concept further, June’s mother offers herself as living proof of this ignorance. In spirit she was graceful, and was revealing her true and original personality through liberation. The questions that I asked of June, were intended to explore four principle directions by which liberation leaves a soul free and vibrant. Liberation from the roles and responsibilities of a lifetime. Liberation from being affected by problems, in an increasingly complex world. Liberation from the material world, including the physical body, its diseases and appearance. And liberation from the attachments we form in a lifetime of relationships.
By liberation, June’s mother entered a state of being in which she was freed from the awareness of her body. She had become completely ‘soul conscious’. As such she naturally filled the room with a radiance of love, peace and acceptance. And those who were in her presence became happy and peaceful. I believe this to have reflected a return to her original condition. The condition she had before taking birth. That of a peaceful soul.
In witnessing this example we are seeing the establishment of soul-consciousness in the face of death. So one might ask, why is it we wait so long to find such serenity? And why do we have to be forced into submission—by death—before we can love and let go? Evidently it could be possible to do so in life and our volunteer’s mother is trying to show us this. The question is, “How”?
I have considered transformation to begin with enlightenment. And that enlightenment is bestowed as gift of awareness, requiring no endeavour on behalf of its beneficiary. When there has been recognition of the opportunity that enlightenment offers, then transformation can proceed. The difference now is that effort must be made. During enlightenment the individual’s experience is akin to that of June’s mother. Spiritual growth or transformation is about holding this love and light constantly. The effort required needs to be made in two directions simultaneously—towards the state of being; and towards the state of liberation. In fact both of these are intimately associated. The main effort is that of becoming soul conscious and free from dependencies. Liberated!
It represents a completely new identity.
In our volunteer’s mother this was attained in the face of death. Through the dying process she had become completely detached from all directions external to herself. External, that is, to her soul—the true or authentic self. In so doing she became a vessel of divine influence, radiating love, light and peace to those around her. She was detached from her family, yet they were experiencing love from her. She was detached from her family, yet they were experiencing love from her. Pure spiritual love. It seems a paradox, doesn’t it, that she had become both detached and loving? Totally unconcerned about anyone’s welfare. Yet loving and, quite effortlessly, meeting everyone’s need for peace and happiness. Her spiritual beauty came with the exposure of her soul. Through its nakedness, seeds of transformation were cast in a radiance of purity. And like a mirror she was revealing the true nature of soul to anyone who entered her presence. June had said, ‘It seemed as though she was surrounded in light…like an angel.” I think she was an angel.
By attaining grace, June’s mother had also revealed this aim and object of spiritual growth. That of becoming an angel. Or soul conscious. From this case it is evidently possible to do so. Her soul consciousness was state of awareness (or being) that served and uplifted others. She gave out an automatic, natural radiance of pure virtues. With a leaf from her book, as enlightened effort makers, we could transform ourselves. And become holistic, spiritual servers, whatever our social or professional roles. Where June’s mother was forced to do so by her circumstances of death, we have the opportunity to ‘embrace the light’ in accordance with free will. In giving us this example, she has afforded us this opportunity. An opportunity for even higher attainment than hers.
Where she found liberation and self-realization in death, we can do so in life. But we must first let go of fears and misconceptions. And understand paradox. To detach from those we love will transform the quality of that love into something divine and unconditional. Do we have the confidence to let go of relationships? And become merged in the divine love that will fulfil those relationships? Or is it that our fear is too great—that we will lose something? It is no easy thing to let go of a world you have come to depend on. But it is a wonderful thing to surrender your life to a higher power. For in surrender you become an instrument, where there is no burden on your shoulders. And you discover the delight of lightness in the service of humanity. I guess angels don’t get too worried about things. Then why should they? They are only God’s helpers after all.
June’s mother has given us a glimpse of the personal aim and objective within transformation or spiritual growth. And we have looked beyond enlightenment to the state of grace. Grace that beckons the soul to make effort to be itself, and to become free, liberate from body-consciousness. By this I mean to have a separate awareness from the physical body; and to be liberated from the four directions. Those of attachments, of responsibilities, of being affected, and of the material world.
We are now entering the individual’s journey. In doing so we will take care to remember that who ever travels this path enters a divine plan. Effort-making and self-transformation are inspired by a higher power. Enlightenment is a gift of higher power. And the motivation to take the journey is sustained from this divine source. We will also remember that the individual who journeys, contributes spiritual vibrations towards world transformation. Each one unique. Each one selected, each with a role to play.
Yet not one is special. For each is only rediscovering his or her true self, before allowing it to remain naked and exposed!
Roger Cole is a specialist physician trained in cancer medicine. He currently directs the Palliative Care Service in
Beauty and the Beast
Author’s bio: For sixteen years Lesley Edwards pursued inner spiritual development with the Brahma Kumaris. Her career took her into teaching and she gave herself wholeheartedly to her work with children at various schools in
During her last five years, one of her main areas of focus was the development of self esteem. She designed and ran courses throughout the
Beauty and the Beast
By Lesley Edwards
Lesley Edwards clarifies the role of self-awareness in building self-esteem.
Building Self Esteem is about deep personal transformation. I do not believe that we can discover our true worthiness without making the effort to change, without having the courage to look ourselves straight in the eye, appreciate what we see and then move on from there.
I was showing a class of 6-year-old children some pictures of the life cycle of the butterfly one day and I asked them how they thought it happened. One little boy’s face lit up and he exclaimed, “I know, the caterpillar has the heart of a butterfly!” What a wise old soul. It is true that if we know within our hearts what we want to become, then we will become that.
A friend of mine recently realized that she was only able to see herself through other people’s eyes. A counsellor asked her how she saw herself, and she replied that people said she was attractive, intelligent, and fun to be with. On being further pushed to say what she saw, she realized with horror she saw nothing, only a reflection of herself in other people’s eyes, and she was experiencing a profound feeling of being disconnected from herself.
It is a frightening feeling when we don’t know who we are. And many of us don’t, or have come to a point in life where we are seriously seeking some clarity. There has never been a time when we were more in need of some simple ancient wisdom—a spiritual as opposed to a material explanation of who we are. For so long we have been caught up in an identity based on external factors such as our job, appearance, talents and relationships. We have looked to other people, situations and circumstances to define us, to affirm us and to be the source of our pleasure. We have lost ourselves by comparing ourselves with others and measuring ourselves against material standards of success and achievement.
To begin to retrieve ourselves from this mess means a change of perception from physical self-awareness to spiritual self-awareness, seeing ourselves as a soul or spiritual consciousness that is beyond form. The natural state of the soul is internal strength and highest expression of the soul is to express that strength in the form of love, confidence, courage, and many other positive qualities. To have our center of gravity firmly anchored in this part of us makes us bigger than the detail of our daily lives, so that whatever challenge life presents us with we can stand firm and solid. It is to have an experience of Self that “brings a feeling of standing on solid ground inside oneself, on a patch of eternity, which even physical death cannot touch …” (Marie-Louise Von Franz).
It’s quite a challenge to work with a vision of yourself that is beyond image!—for your butterfly to have wings of compassion, peace courage and love as opposed to promotion, beauty, wealth and success! Yet I have seen many people meditating for the first time, connecting with this inner reality, breathing sighs of relief and sharing experiences of an inner freedom and lightness they have never felt before.
Of course the real challenge comes in integrating this experience into daily life, for spiritual self-awareness does not mean ignoring your physical, social and emotional world, but using it to give you the will power, the tools and strength to bring healing and change into all areas of your life. Without a spiritual awareness you may find yourself trying to make superficial changes when things go wrong, like putting knick-knacks and decorations over subsidence or putting more icing on a rotten cake—the equivalent of buying more clothes, eating more food, or drinking more alcohol when you feel depressed. Without a spiritual practice such as meditation you may know very well what changes in attitude and behavior would be good for you, but simply not have the energy or power to put them into practice.
The energy and inner strength that is experienced in meditation equips you with the right weapons to fight a non-violent war—weapons such as patience, tolerance, forgiveness, compassion, acceptance and generosity. For however deeply we believe in our positive selves and however real our experiences of our spiritual self have been, this reality will inevitably be challenged. You may believe that you are a peaceful, loving soul, but can you maintain this experience in the face of sickness or criticisms. A spiritual awareness means always being ready with the right weapons, where battle and victory are an opportunity for alchemy. Where there was fear let there be courage, where lies and illusion—truth, where anger—acceptance, where hurt—forgiveness. Attacks will not just come from outside. Our self-image is made up of layers and layers of past experiences in our own subconscious in the form of deeply ingrained habits of negative thought patterns and behavior. Lasting change and healing requires a deep commitment to emerging gold from lead.
When awakened to their spirituality, people typically discover a sense of purpose and meaning in life. This should not just be a fleeting sensation! The challenge is to live every day with a sense of meaning and purpose. Do you understand the significance of the roles you play, the work you do, the talents you have? This is a potential minefield of stress, frustration, and boredom, of unfulfilled dreams and feelings of failure. Yet from a spiritual perspective, whatever you do is presenting you with exactly what you need for your growth and inner change. You may need to be in a situation to learn patience and humility. You may be bursting to change things on an external level but the best thing you can do right now is to change your attitude and perception towards what you do—patiently waiting for a time when the change that will happen is not a reaction against something bad, but a conscious choice to move towards something good.
What does it mean to translate spiritual self-awareness into your relationships with other people? Are you able to love? Do you love yourself enough to love other people? —to know that love is a verb and not something that will be found in the ideal person, or the ideal situation? —to be as committed to seeing gold in other people as you are to seeing the gold in yourself, appreciating how deeply connected those two perceptions are? When our inner resources are weak we cannot take other people’s attacks and defenses, and the easiest thing to do is to highlight their weaknesses as a way to avoiding responsibility for how we are feeling. To be stable in our own spiritual self awareness is to be able to turn things around, so that faced with someone coming from a space of anger, fear or jealousy, I am not threatened but I can disarm their negativity by seeing beyond it to their goodness. To maintain this vision needs a lot spiritual power—when you are tired and low on energy yourself you get stuck in the external appearance of things and it is much easier to blame, criticize, and put others down.
True self awareness is to see and accept the full life cycle of change—that there is the caterpillar, the cocoon and then the butterfly; that the alchemist uses lead to make gold and daylight always follows the night. A spiritual perspective gives an understanding of this complete story, and enables you to view the story from some place “outside of” or “beyond” yourself, without getting too caught up in any part of the detail. It enables you to see weakness and strength with equanimity and stability; to see weakness as a temporary reality but not ultimately part of true identity; to see weakness as the flip side of strength and to always make the choice to move towards the light, to move towards gold and to move towards flight.
Without seeing the full picture it’s very easy to get caught up in a small part of the story. Many people can accept their weaknesses but not their strengths. When asked to list positive and negative things about themselves, the negative list comes far easier and is a lot longer! Maybe it feels safer to stay on familiar ground, “It’s my personality to be like this. I can’t change., I was born like it!” To see themselves in a positive light is to step out of their comfort zone into dangerously unknown territory. I am reminded of children whose only way of reaching out and making contact with others is through physical violence, because that is the only language they know; and whose attention-seeking strategies result in constantly being told off. But they are getting exactly what they want—attention! For those whose early and subsequent life experiences have been characterized by pain and suffering it takes a Herculean effort of will and courage to step beyond this into a language of love.
Perhaps less common but certainly a potential hazard, is when we accept our strengths but go to great lengths to avoid facing and accepting weaknesses. None of us is perfect, and even the greatest souls have a shadow side. And this shadow has to be seen and embraced if we are to keep on growing. Courage can only come from facing fear, compassion from understanding anger. The peace we can experience is only in contrast to chaos. Every weakness is a strength out of balance; a feeling of worthlessness can be humility distorted, and arrogance may be confidence for the wrong reasons.
It is an art to look at Beauty and Beast with equanimity. And the greatest threat to that is fear. Fear is the big distorting mirror. We look in the mirror and see Beast, and stay with Beast because Beast says I have nothing to live up to, and has plenty of excuses for not having to do anything. Or we look in to the mirror and see Beauty and ignore Beast. And if Beast does not get at least a nod of acknowledgement he will chase us, driving us from within the labyrinth of our subconscious, demanding sacrifices—a missed opportunity here, a damaged relationship there. He will rear his ugly head manifesting as projections, denials, excuses and distortions of truth. So Beauty has to fall in love with Beast to turn him back in to a prince. And the only way for Beauty to love Beast is go beyond fear. Look in to the mirror and see beyond Beast and just see light. Light fills you with the love and courage to face and transform your weaknesses and the strength to express your strengths.
The Holy Grail of High Self Esteem
Author’s bio: For sixteen years Lesley Edwards pursued inner spiritual development with the Brahma Kumaris. Her career took her into teaching and she gave herself wholeheartedly to her work with children at various schools in
During her last five years, one of her main areas of focus was the development of self esteem. She designed and ran courses throughout the
THE HOLY GRAIL OF HIGH SELF ESTEEM
Lesley Edwards goes straight to the core of the challenge that faces us all, every day—the rebuilding and the maintenance of high self esteem.
In the first article on building self esteem (see The Beauty and the Beast) I described the first two steps as Knowing Yourself, and Accepting Yourself: to know and accept yourself as you are, good and bad; and to know and accept yourself as you could be, making the choice to realize your full potential for positive transformation, and appreciating the spiritual process that makes this possible. Having understood and accepted where you are coming from and where you are going to, the next step is to commit yourself to the journey. The challenge of building true self esteem is a pilgrimage in search of the Holy Grail. The Holy Grail is our worthiness, our purpose in life, our dignity, our beauty, true love, and a satisfying, peace of mind. Journeys can be dangerous things. Sometimes it’s safer to stay at home with the comfort of denials and attachments and support systems that tell us how wonderful we are—blissfully ignorant of all the work that needs to be done. It is when we venture outside our comfort zones that we get tested and challenged.
PROTECT YOUR SELF
The third step to building self esteem is to protect yourself. This means be careful. You have enemies. There will be forces at work that will try to stop you getting to your ‘Soul Room’, that inner space where you can sustain your soul consciousness and cultivate your conversation with God. Voices will call out to you from the other rooms. “Where are you?” “We need you here!” They will prevent you from knowing and learning from God, the master architect of your new self.
On a pilgrimage it is often best to travel alone, at least for the substantial part of the journey, while you are regaining your self esteem. The purpose of your life at the moment is to find the Holy Grail. But that is not an end in itself. What is most important is what you do with it when you have found it. Then the purpose of your life is to give, to express, to share what you have found. It is true that in a sense you cannot separate the two, for in giving, expressing and sharing you also discover yourself. But it is a fine balance and one that is easily lost. So make sure, if you are traveling closely with others, to give yourself plenty of space.
While Noah built his ark, people came and laughed at him, and teased him. “What on earth are you doing Noah?” They thought he was mad. It may be that others won’t understand why you want to go to your Soul Room to be quiet and to know God. The cocoon is not the most attractive phase in the life of the butterfly, but it is an essential step. No cocoon, no butterfly, simple as that. God has a preservation order on you at this time. Trust, and have faith that if you keep going inside to find power, that the power will do its work.
Protecting yourself is a lot to do with the relationships in your life, your relationship with yourself, with God and with other people. Put your relationship with yourself and God first. Your lessons will come through other people, but don’t lose sight of who is learning and who is teaching.
Relationships with others are a way of knowing ourselves on a deeper level. They are intense and interesting and real. We need someone to bounce off, to mirror back to us our reality. But we need to be wary about what they are mirroring back, which reality, which identity. If you are on a pilgrimage to find your true identity then be careful what other people see in you, because you will see yourself with those eyes too and this could give you a false sense of security; you think you are fine, when really there’s a lot you could be working on. When you are close to someone, your perception gets mixed up with their perception; sometimes you can’t even tell whether your feelings are your own or theirs. If they are not seeing themselves clearly, they will project what they don’t like in themselves onto you, and if you are not doing your work properly you will project what you don’t like in yourself onto them! All relationships are an exchange of power, people competing for energy: A and B taking support from each other until A no longer has the energy or the interest and withdraws affection. And B, having become dependent, is then unable to find that energy either from within or from anywhere else.
In an ideal relationship there will be an exchange of high quality love. Some recent scientific research from
The things that attract us to other people are often qualities we would like to have ourselves. If we are quiet and gentle, we may find extrovert and confident people attractive. If we are strong and dynamic, we may find gentle and calm people attractive. In either case, the only and real lasting solution is to find whatever quality we are looking for in someone else—inside ourselves. For the power that can be found by returning to the natural state of the soul has all the ingredients needed for the making of any quality.
Within the cocoon of spiritual transformation there is a perfect balancing out of qualities; a balancing of the male and female within us all. For all of us can be strong as well as gentle, responsible as well as free, adventurous as well as cautious. When we see the alchemy of what was once weak becoming strong, what was once idealistic becoming visionary, what was once worry becoming freedom—then relationships change from being dependent to interdependent, from being unhealthy to healthy.
God teaches us to love ourselves. Because He has no hidden agenda He will mirror back to us only our highest qualities. We will not be able to project onto Him our own weaknesses; we will simply have to accept them and own them. He will not project onto us, because He has no weaknesses. He will not take our power away, nor will He withdraw His power, because it is unlimited. Having a relationship with God is necessary when our batteries have run down. And for anyone looking for self esteem that is likely to have happened.
EMPOWERMENT
The final step to building self esteem is to empower yourself. Power comes from all sorts of places. Some energy will be temporary, like the buzz of caffeine or cocaine that ends up leaving you feeling low. The energy spurt of a temporary attraction can also leave you feeling deflated when it fades, or damaged when it is not reciprocated. Even riding high on success and achievement carries within it the inevitability of coming down to earth with a bump when there is criticism and misunderstanding.
True energy will leave you feeling quietly confident, contented, satisfied, accepting, loving and at peace. You will feel connected to your own inner goodness, to the source of goodness in the universe and the goodness in other people. You will be stable and calm when things are going well and when things go badly. You will not need to blame or criticize anyone or anything.
You will love yourself—which means looking after your physical needs, eating the right food, taking exercise. You will spend time alone, being creative, meditating or enjoying silence, happy with your own company, and happy in the company of others. You will know your limitations and draw clear boundaries with confidence and calmness when it comes to work and commitments.
To maintain this state of self esteem you will need to be very cautious about what causes leakages to your inner strength. Power will seep away if you are not true to yourself. We all have an internal barometer which will indicate to us when we are off track. Deep within the soul, in the silent Soul Room of our being, is our conscience. It is our inner wisdom, the part of us that knows really that love is a more natural state of being than hate, that peace is more natural than stress. And it knows when we violate our own truth through our weaknesses, compulsions and being influenced by others. Our conscience ‘bites’, we become prisoners of our own conscience. I said earlier that God does not withdraw His power, but we can prevent ourselves from taking the power of goodness from God, and finding strength in our own goodness if we are not true to ourselves. If we deceive ourselves, if we forget who we really are, if we take quick fixes of energy by criticising others, by giving in to greediness or easy options, our energy will leak away. If we abuse ourselves or anyone else in any way we will not have a clear conscience. It will play on our minds. And when we go to our Soul Room there will not be peace, but punishment. Self inflicted punishment, the punishment of a troubled mind.
It is a paradox of spirituality, that real self esteem comes when we in fact go beyond our ‘self’. If we transcend ourselves, if we no longer have any selfish or willful desires, we can become an instrument of God’s will. Then our purpose in life becomes very clear. And it is only when we have a clear purpose that we can have true self esteem. When we go beyond our ‘selves’ then we find the soul. Then our life’s purpose is quite simply to learn to love and to bring peace on earth, in whatever way we can. This may be through composing a symphony or baking cakes. It does not really matter.
Coping with Negativity
By Sister Jayanti
Sister Jayanti is the Director of the
Sister Jayanti explains how to handle negativity within ourselves and when it comes from others.
In this world there are so many questions about our future, the environment and population, the financial and political situation, distribution of resources. You only have to pick up a newspaper to realise the world is in a horrendous state. It is easy to become negative. If I want to become negative I can find 1001 reasons to be so. If I allow all these factors to influence me then yes, it is as if 1000 guns were pointed at my head, so I feel extremely negative. Another factor is the people I am surrounded by; it is very easy to become influenced by their negativity. I may be influenced by people that I work with and sometimes it is their negativity attacking me, then it becomes difficult to maintain my balance, lightness and happiness because of their negative reactions and responses to everything, or it could be my negative response towards them. I might not like the way they talk to me or look at me, so there is a gradual build-up of feelings of being pressured from all directions. So how do I escape?
Even if I were to escape there will be another deep realization—that the problem is not actually the world outside or the people I am with. If I spend a few moments in honest reflection I realize that whatever is going on inside of me is the root of my negativity. This probably won’t bring joy or lightness and may even cause feelings of depression or heaviness because it means I have realized that the negativity is coming from inside. How do I cope with it? First of all, I can try to understand it, and by understanding and realizing it I have gone a long way towards being able to put it right.
I understand that the period of history that civilization is passing through now is a particularly dark one. But it cannot last forever. The condition of the world is horrific but it will change. After the darkness the light will come; night has to turn into day. This will happen in the passage of time; I cannot force the day to come, I cannot force the pace of it so I learn to be a detached observer. I can be part of the movements that will bring the day and not allow things to affect my own inner state of consciousness. This requires a bit of experimentation. I can draw on analogy here: an actor plays a role on stage and is totally involved in all that is going on. Someone in the audience is aware of everything on the stage also but has a different state of consciousness. I have to learn to be both in this game of life. I have to be an actor and an observer. I have to be able to step aside and look at things from a distance. This will bring faith and confidence in the fact that the darkness of night will pass and the light of day will come.
What about the negativity of other people? I know that if I am affected by the negativity of other people then I am going to be plunged into the cycle of actions, reactions and responses over which I have no control. But if I see them, hear them, respect them as human beings and individuals and I understand their point of view, I will not let myself be moved from my position of inner stability. If I can make sure that I remain my own master, their negativity will flow over me and above me and not influence me. I can ask myself what it is that I want and then move in the direction to reach that goal. I can develop the art of detachment, being friends and yet not allowing them to touch me. I can draw on another analogy here: think of the image of a lotus flower. It is found in dirty, stagnant water yet the lotus has a waxy substance on its petals and nothing can touch the surface, the dirt just rolls off. I can create that layer of protection so my inner purity and stability remain unaffected by outside influences. Only in this way can I be true to myself. Otherwise I become a puppet of circumstances and situations that others have created and I am no longer a master of my own feelings and destiny. I learn to have this protection through the experience of detachment and the awareness of God and this will bring a canopy of blessings influencing myself and others around me.
Is there a human being creating a shadow over you? Sometimes I find myself in a situation whereby I am reacting against someone and then it becomes more and more difficult and irritating to manage that individual. I am creating a huge burden for myself which will make it more difficult to live with myself, as well as the individual. If I want to create an environment of peace and love around me, my response of negativity towards anyone becomes extremely uncomfortable for me.
I must try not to allow this build-up of negativity to happen. If it’s happened already, let me analyse the whole process and I will see that it is a subtle form of ego because I think that the way I thank, the things I do and my understanding is all correct and the other person is wrong. So I am constantly criticizing—this will mean a build-up of this negativity. Appreciate that it has come from my own ego and learn humility and respect, recognise the value of the individual and acknowledge the goodness in them.
Everyone has enormous value, I just have to have the right vision to be able to see it. When I start appreciating their value, I will realise the negativity is my own. Yes, they do things in a different way from me but there has to be variety so let me appreciate that. I cannot change them or control them; what I can do is change my attitude and my responses. If I continue to have the vision of love and respect for them I know that through this there is a very good possibility that I can influence them and help them in their change process. If I react against them I will not be able to influence them in the future because my reactions will have set up a barrier between us, thereby making communication very difficult. If I change my attitude in a genuine way—not from diplomacy or artificial courtesy but by seeing their eternal, original divine state—then with genuine respect a good level of communication will arise, and perhaps, at the right time, we can talk about things and a change can take place. But I must not allow this build-up of negativity to destroy communication with them; otherwise walls will have been built up which will be difficult to sort out later on.
Perhaps the most difficult thing for me to come to terms with is the negativity I feel about myself. I see my weaknesses, I see the difficulties I have created, I see the emotional debts I have accumulated and I wonder how it is ever going to be possible to deal with all of this. If I lose hope things will get difficult. Therefore, I do not allow the cycle of negativity to come into being, I do not lose love for myself or negative thoughts will pull me further and further down. As soon as I see that there is the possibility of this negative cycle beginning, I make sure I cut it at that point because cycles are powerful; one weak though and another and another and I am trapped. If I cannot stop it before it begins, it ties me into a knot. Firstly I must see the cause and what needs to be done, and look at the future so I can prevent things from happening; then I take precautions so that it will not happen again. When I recognise myself as an eternal soul, I alter my vision of myself completely. I come back to the realisation of my own original form and feel the divine being that I truly am, and hope returns.
Coming into the awareness of this experience of my own immortality, of ‘I’ the soul, I am able to change my vision completely. I know that in this awareness of being a child of God, I have within myself the capacity for purity, peace and love. If I allow these qualities to emerge and spend a few minutes in silence each day, just letting my mind become detached from all the other things that it’s usually caught up in, then I can value who I truly am. As this stage grows, the influence of this lasts longer each day. As I develop this awareness of self respect and self esteem and I move outside the cycle of negativity that has pulled me down, I make sure my vision, words and actions show this esteem. It is expressed in value and respect for others and from them I get the same response back.
Whilst I lacked esteem I sought support and confirmation from the outside world and usually if I am seeking something it is denied. Only in this state, where I am generating my own self respect within, can I earn respect from others. This is the way I can change my own negative image about myself. When I learn to remove negativity I am drawn by the beauty that positivity can bring and, because I develop a liking for this, I learn to accept positivity and reject negativity. I therefore have a greater impact on the atmosphere around me and the people I am with.
Even one individual who comes into this awareness of making things positive, of learning to deal with things in a positive way, makes a great difference. The heaviness of the world has come about because of the accumulation of all our negative thoughts and actions and the only way we can transform and replace it is through the power of positivity. This enables us to bring about change, firstly in our environment, workplace, family and home which will inevitably reach out and change society. In the state of hopelessness and lack of courage, the forces of darkness grow heavier and stronger.
If I become aware that I am a child of God, a being of light, an instrument of light and I let the light of awareness, wisdom and truth change me, then I can be an instrument to bring light into the world around me. In the state of negativity there is a great deal of fear and ignorance. If I can understand this then the fear is reduced and gradually eliminated and there is greater understanding of the reasons for a negative state of the world and of my karmic connections with other individuals. By understanding all these things light has entered the picture, darkness is removed and I know what to do and how to do it. I have to bring light into the world and in this way darkness will not be able to influence me and I will be able to help remove the darkness of others.
Living with Myself
By Jacqueline Berg
Author Bio: Jacqueline Berg is a writer and author, and the Director of the Brahma Kumaris in
Jacqueline Berg describes how we can break out of our self imposed prisons to which we have committed ourselves.
Recently I read an advertisement that said, “Be different. Be yourself.” It reminded me of a story I once heard about a lion who had been separated from his parents at birth. He grew up in a flock of sheep. Because the cub believed himself to be a sheep, he behaved like one. He was a lion in a sheep-trance.
The story of the lion is a bit like many of our stories. We too are often in a trance. We too seem to have forgotten who we really are. And because of this mistake, we have identified ourselves with different images and ideas. We have put on masks and have actually begun to believe that we are these masks. Of course it is impossible to be happy if you are a lion and live like a sheep. The secret of getting to know yourself is that there is something inside you that is totally different from what you pretend to be.
The only way to get to know this real self is through thorough research. Most people don’t have time for this. Or should I say that they don’t make time for this? That’s the beauty of time: you can make it! During my research I came up with four things that are of vital importance. The first is silence. The second is the relationship with myself. Third is the relationship with the Supreme and finally comes my relationship with those around me. It is actually important to think of them in this order. We usually approach them the other way around. We are very concerned about the relationships we have with others, some of us think about God, few think of their inner self and hardly anyone has a relationship with silence.
Before I began meditation – some twenty-five years ago—silence was not very high on my priority list. I hadn’t a clue what it was really. I was a workaholic, and workaholics don’t waste time on futile hobbies like silence. My life was active, dynamic. And it ran in the family. After she got a divorce, my mother told me why she had always been so incredibly busy. She had literally been running away from the pain she had felt because of her unfulfilling marriage. It made me aware that work can be just another addiction, a way to cover up pain, a way to avoid the things we don’t know how to deal with. So, that’s the way I was brought up: never stopping, never being, always doing.
My inner journey started with the wish to break through this vicious cycle of running around; with trying to ‘just be’ for a change. The first few years in meditation weren’t easy. I found it hard to relax and couldn’t sit still. My creative mind kept racing. It was actually my body that came to my rescue and forced me to sit—or rather lie—still. Slowly but surely my mind accepted defeat; and while the white flag was hoisted, the silence set in.
It takes time to get used to being silent and doing ’nothing’. I remember one morning sitting on the sofa —meditating—when one of the neighbors passed by the window. Before I knew it I had picked up a magazine and pretended to be reading. For so long I had lived with the idea, “I do, therefore I am.” I was afraid that the neighbors would think that I was doing nothing. But I was even more afraid of that inner voice, the Inner Critic, who had been pushing me beyond my limits for many years. Now that my mind was becoming more silent, I became more aware of this inner voice. It took me some time to understand what this inner criticism does, how destructive it is.
Many people mistake criticism for intellectualism; they think it is good to have an opinion about everything and to judge others. But I have found that it is actually a very negative habit. It hurts others, but above all you hurt yourself with this kind of negative judgment. I think it derives from the wrong notion of perfectionism. Perfectionism is not the same as perfection, in the sense of completion. ‘Being complete’ means: being whole with all powers and virtues inside the self. Perfectionism is something different. Perfectionists try to control people and situations so that nothing goes wrong. They want everything to be smooth and can’t handle a ripple in the pond. Instead of being focused on the beauty of life they are obsessed by the shortcomings and imperfections of themselves and others. They continually correct themselves and others—sometimes in words, always in thoughts.
Now I’m not saying that we shouldn’t try to make things better and strive for perfection. After all, we all come from that state of inner harmony and wholeness. So, it is only natural that we would want to return to that state once more. But the projected anger at having lost your own perfection is not going to bring this wholeness back. In fact it creates a lot of problems in relationships. It is not easy to face, or even see, your own shortcomings. It is easier to see this in others and so the Inner Critic lashes out at others. And there is always something: the way someone dresses, talks, behaves … there’s no end to it. But what we are actually doing is criticizing our own behaviour
The way to get to know the Inner Critic is to pay attention to your feelings: how do I feel about myself? How do I feel about other people? Recently my dentist told me that if he were to remove my mercury fillings, my feelings about myself would change. Isn’t it amazing that something like that can actually change the way we feel about ourselves? Feelings can change so rapidly and there is so much influence, that the best way to look at feelings is: They are just feelings. And one feeling leads to another. When you look behind all those feelings and emotions there is still you. It is like with anger: You can feel angry, but that doesn’t make you an angry person. It is good to separate your feelings from your self.
Take fear, for instance. A few years ago I traveled in
When I allow silence to enter my mind, I come to know who I am, deep down inside. I begin to understand my motivations. With myself I can be honest. I don’t need to fool myself. When I begin to listen to myself, it is possible to discover things which are different from what I was expecting to find. May be I am a very different person from whom I thought I was. May be I am a lion living in a sheep-trance. If I am, then the process of recognition and change begins. It can be a bit painful to destroy the self-created images of ourselves, but above all it is liberating. Of course people around us will say, “Hang on, that’s not who you are, that’s not how I know you.” They will try to pull you back. It takes courage to change. It can be painful to discover how little your friends and family really know you. But, actually, you can’t blame them. After all, it was you who has been misleading them by not showing your real self. You only showed them the mask.
We have identified ourselves with so many external things. People have different faces. Our identity is in the clothes we wear, the jobs we have, where we live and so on. Some people are completely different at work from at home. They show only a part of themselves at work. In a way they mislead their colleagues. In the Dutch State Prison I teach meditation to young men who are there because of drug related crimes. So, apart from their punishment, they are also addicts. Not an easy group of youngsters! They are offered psycho-therapeutic sessions to make them aware of the pain of their past. This is important, as they have tried to flee from the past by means of drug-abuse. After they are sober I get the opportunity to do meditation and positive thinking sessions with them. These boys have taught me so much about myself. They have nothing left to hang on to, nothing worth identifying with. Their friends and girlfriends don’t want to see them any more; often they have lost their teeth and hair. I talk to them about freedom imprisonment. They are always telling me, “What do you know about imprisonment? When you leave this place you are free.”
But what is freedom? Maybe I’m addicted to my work, my relationship or to negativity. These soul cages are prisons too. Some of us are locked up so tight, it’s like we have given ourselves a life sentence. I tell the inmates that I honestly don’t know who is more free, them or us outside. After all, they have all the time in the world to rethink their life. Away from the struggle of everyday life, it is a lot easier to change patterns. Some people even pay lots of money to spend time in a monastery or a private island just to get away from it all to straighten things out. When I tell those young men in prison that some people might even be a bit jealous of them, they laugh, but they understand.
They are also open to meditation. They love it. They lie down on the floor, hang in their chairs, sometimes they cry. For a few minutes they experience themselves as they really are. Sitting together in meditation makes you forget that you are in the same room with murderers or muggers. They also forget these things. We just sit together and forget the masks. We meet as souls. In therapy people often focus only on what went wrong. When I meet these boys I tell them, “Forget your past for a little while. Let’s see what qualities and specialities you still have left.” When they express some of these qualities, I remind them of these. I don’t remember their names, but I remember their qualities.
Forgiveness is a big issue to them. Only when they learn to forgive themselves can they let go of their false identity. They need to understand why they have been doing these things: not because they are bad people, but because of misunderstandings. Only then can they forgive and regain their self worth again.
Forgiving yourself means healing your heart. If you keep punishing yourself, you are still behind bars. You are still in prison. And because you are in prison, you imprison others as well. No one wants to be in prison on their own. We want company. If your identity is shame-based, you will look for others who have the same problem. You will always hurt one another. Hurt people hurt people. These projections on each other will keep going on until you heal yourself. And only when you heal yourself will you be able to heal others.
We have to understand that we are free. Souls are free. No one can encage us; we have chosen the cage ourselves. We have made ourselves into victims. And if we enjoy playing the role of victim there is always someone who is willing to play the role of victimiser—the bird and the cage. If we want to be free, my advice is: Don’t run away from your ‘cage’; don’t run away from the relationship(s) you are in, instead understand what’s going on and change yourself. To me this is honesty. And it is the only way to really free yourself. Don’t spend all your energy on trying to change others. It’s no use. All your energy will go into arguments, fights and repeating the same quarrels over and over again. Others will only change when they want to change, when they understand they have to change. Change comes from an inner motivation. But if we use our precious energy on changing ourselves, the chances are that the other will also change. It’s time to reclaim your soul.
Real relationships start with silence. Then you can begin to create a better relationship with yourself, then with the Supreme, then with others. The reason why relationships with others come last is because others never see in us what God sees in us. We often see ourselves through the eyes of others. So, if someone only sees 20 percent of who we are, we also only see that much. God sees us as we are, He sees our complete potential. If you learn to look at yourself the way God looks at you, you will begin to see your real you. If you learn to connect with the Supreme Being your pure feelings are being stimulated and enforced. It is so wonderful to be in contact with a being who is so close to your original nature. You feel so comfortable in the presence of someone who is soul conscious. You begin to relax, because you are being recognized. You don’t need to prove yourself any more.
I feel we are now in a time period in which people are beginning to understand these things. But we have to stop wasting energy and concentrate on what is really necessary. The practice of meditation is about learning to be uninfluenced, to be you, safe and protected in that pure energy. Meditation is about feeling your own soul-energy. Really feeling: this is me; that feeling that I am unique, I am special. Then the whole process is to express that energy in your daily life, in your relationships. But first you have to practice to feel it until you become stable in your true identity. When you begin to feel who you really are, there is no need to fight against addictions or people around you. In fact there is no need to fight at all. It is a very natural process. When we change our attitude, we will be able to change the world. You see, God needs help. He needs free minds.
Life in the Balance
Charles Hogg explores the trick of maintaining a balance in life
Some incidents in childhood leave deep impressions. I have a deep memory of a television programme showing a tightrope walker crossing
Some of us feel life is similar. Finding our inner balance while living amongst many extremes, like the tightrope walker, can be precarious. It can create extraordinary tension. We live in a world of duality, and at every second we have to make decisions about where we sit between so many extremes. Should I tolerate the situation in silence or should I face it and express how I really feel? Am I coming from a point of self-respect or am I just being arrogant? Am I being selfish or am I just being sensible and looking after my own needs? When should I let things be and when should I push for what I want?
Taoist philosophy expresses these dilemmas in the ancient Ying Yang symbol. At almost every second we are faced with the duality of opposites. Unfortunately, there is no formula for finding the right balance. Each situation requires a different mix of seemingly diametrically opposed forces. Some situations require us to be totally assertive and express how we feel. Other situations require us to let go in favour of others’ needs and desires, and at other times a mixture between the two. Every situation depends on our ability to objectively view a situation and discern the middle path. In my experience, the middle path means to find a point of silence from which I observe all the tides of influences and opinion. From that point I clearly see the path I need to take.
Most of us find life a constant juggle in which we try to fulfil many different responsibilities. Firstly, to our family and friends—most of us do feel relationships to be the highest priority. Secondly, our responsibilities in our chosen career. Thirdly, to our other interests, whether they be community service, sport or just our own recreation. Neglecting one can create stress.
The greatest stress does not come from overwork, but from the worry that we are neglecting an area of our life. It’s common knowledge that workaholics who may be brilliant in their field often use work to escape areas of their life they find difficult. Perhaps there’s conflict at home, or even a lack of self-worth. Going to an extreme is usually a sign of covering up a lack in another area. We seem to pursue the things we are good at, but very cleverly create our life to avoid those things that challenge us or we find difficult. A renowned public speaker once told me he had so much confidence in front of a crowd, but when it came to one-to-one communication he often felt totally inadequate, so he avoided it. The result, imbalance!
I took up the practice of meditation when I was just twenty-one years old. One of the wonderful benefits of meditation I discovered was the art of objectively viewing myself, like a member of an audience watching my own performance on stage. As I watched myself I could see how hard I was trying to please others, constantly compromising what I really wanted or needed. It was more important to seek respect from others than from myself. The result ... more imbalance.
So, do I have a responsibility to myself, and what is it? How many of us reach a point where the anxiety of juggling our various responsibilities reaches an extreme. It’s often at this point I reassess my priorities. An Australian social researcher, Hugh Mackay, described the 1980’s as the “anxious 80’s”. He observed that many people were opting for the “inner journey”; a total change of attitude where one begins to look internally to resolve anxiety and extremism. Blaming others and situations is the path of self-deception, but taking responsibility for how I feel is my true path. I neither resist the challenges that life brings me nor am I overwhelmed by them.
But how do we find our point of balance in each situation?
We need to extract ourselves totally from the influence, opinions and even past perceptions and take the ‘helicopter view’. From there we can view the whole picture with clarity. Detachment has always been the mark of great thinkers because it is only when we see the situation as a detached observer can we perceive the real truth. Otherwise our emotions, desires or attachments cloud our clarity. Detachment is so necessary to find true balance, but to many of us it can tend to feel clinical, or lacking in heart. That is why the first and foremost balance is love and detachment.
Love is the greatest need. Those who always express their love with a pure motive will always feel full of love. But to be truly loving we need detachment. When we are detached from others we are not irritated or affected by their actions, so we can maintain our love. Our love isn’t conditional to others’ responses. We are not trading in the business of love which says, “If you do this, only then will you receive my love ...”
Sometimes we have to show total love and support but other times we have to stand back and allow others to stand on their own feet. Here, our detachment can be a form of respect, where they can do without us. Being loving and detached is like a protection from different influences and atmospheres, where others’ moods, inaccuracies and perceptions cannot disturb our clarity.
The practice of meditation takes you into the ‘helicopter view’ naturally. From there you can see the complete picture and become a more balanced person. Some of the areas in which you will find balance are:
Analysis and Acceptance
Some situations require clear analysis, but analysis does not end the matter. The mind repeats events again and again and we try to maintain our objectivity. But acceptance can clear subjective feelings and allow us to get on with life. Acceptance does not mean denial or suppression but a deeper wisdom that realises nothing more can be done. All we can do is take the lesson from whatever has happened and progress into the future.
Humility and Authority
When we have self-respect, our words and actions express humility. Some say they admire humility, yet feel that humble people can become doormats. But true humility is a point of gentle strength and authority. This is self-authority, not an authority that imposes control over others. The one with humility will speak with truth but their authority will not hurt the hearts of others. Others will admire the dignity and self-assurance of such a person. The balance of humility and self-authority is the foundation of a great leader.
Satisfaction and Ambition
Some people are never satisfied. No matter how much they have, they want more. It is a cancerous type of inner peacelessness that never allows them to be quiet and enjoy the present. Others seem to have no motivation to improve on any level. One of the gifts of meditation practice is discovering a deep awareness of our spiritual self and our relationship with God.
This cools down the ambition for recognition, and creates a feeling of fullness and contentment. However, even with this inner satisfaction, there can still be the ambition to improve our own lives and to help others. But this is not an ambition that seeks the approbation of others, but comes from a point of genuine benevolence.
Charles Hogg is the Director of the Brahma Kumaris Raja Yoga Centres of
How to Take Yourself Lightly
Brijmohan takes a closer look at the difference between body and soul
A burdened mind may snatch some fleeting, short-lived moments of pleasure, but it cannot experience true happiness. Remaining always light is the key to happiness. In today’s conditions, the ability to take yourself and everything around you lightly is perhaps the number one capability to cultivate. There is a vital need to develop the inner powers to ‘take it easy’, come what may.
It is widely understood that the state of a person’s mind depends upon his attitude to people and objects present and to the events occurring around him. There is also a well-known saying: “you cannot change events, but you can change your attitude towards them.” Yet when actual situations arise, attitudinal change is difficult because of the mind-set already formed.
Attitude is determined by prides and prejudices, desires and ambitions, priorities and preferences, needs and compulsions. These, in turn, are influenced by habits and addictions, learnings and dependencies, beliefs and outlook, whims and fancies and a host of other factors. Pre-dispositions thus formed produce certain mental pulls and pushes which determine responses and reactions to external situations. That’s why attitudes towards the same event vary from person to person. New paradigms are called for to break the old mind-sets and create inner capabilities that can automatically take care of anything that comes your way.
The first fundamental attitudinal change for remaining ‘light’ always is to make a firm resolve to do so. As you think, so you become. The word ‘light’, in the spiritual sense, also means enlightenment that dispels the inner darkness of ignorance, illusion, doubt and confusion. This enables you to visualise things in their true form. As a result, deception is eliminated. Confidence and clarity change conditions of fear and anxiety into those of joy and happiness. From this follows the second attitudinal change: Consider life as a celebration and not as a struggle or war zone. Greetings and good wishes exchanged at celebrations are always a source of great joy and happiness. Likewise, to become a well-wisher of all is the easiest way to make your life a celebration.
At the root of your attitude lies your belief system. The greatest common basic flaw in today’s belief-system is body-consciousness, i.e. identifying yourself with the mortal body instead of the immortal entity called ‘soul’ that you truly are. This identity-crisis is the mother of all other crises. The eternal you—the soul—is a sentient entity, an imperishable point of light. Your original innate qualities are love, peace, happiness and bliss. As long as you remain established in the state of soul-consciousness and use your body as an instrument, you will remain light because, firstly, your very existence is that of being sentient light and secondly, your thoughts, words and actions will be in conformity with your innate qualities.
As it is made of matter, the body and its sense organs can only give sensual pleasures which are short-lived and dependent upon external factors. Body-consciousness leads to adoption of material values which affect the mind, destroying the pristine purity of your innate qualities and, in fact, of the entire thought-process. As a result, jealousy, hatred, anger and other types of negativity lead to unrighteous thoughts and wrongful actions. Negativity produces waste thoughts and increases the number and speed of your thoughts. This dilutes the quality of thoughts, and consequently, the quality of life. Waste thoughts produce attitudinal maladies like doubts, apprehensions, fear, etc. and take away from all the zest and zeal of life. This results in lethargy and laziness. In this way, negativity weakens the mind and it becomes prone to external influences.
Self-realisation or soul-consciousness on the other hand brings home the truth that the soul’s original qualities of love, peace, happiness and bliss are all non-material, like the soul itself. Even the negative traits or perversions like ego, anger, hatred, jealousy or the stresses and strains produced by these vices are non-material in nature. Hence, the required corrective action in this respect has essentially to be taken at the level of your basic beliefs. An inner journey is therefore an essential pre-requisite for enjoying a happy external journey through this life and beyond.
Self-realisation enables you to easily let go of the past. Instead of regretting, it enables you to gain valuable experience from past mistakes and increase your powers of tolerance and patience. When one begins to learn from mistakes, the meaning of the saying ‘everything happens for the best’ becomes clear. Mistakes are not repeated. Attention helps avoid tension. Reduction in waste thoughts improves the quality of thoughts.
Will-power is the aggregate of all your inner powers like tolerance, discrimination, judgement, concentration, and co-operation. The will of a person with a good reservoir of inner powers shall always prevail. Hence, the saying ‘where there is a will, there is way.’ Strong will-power enables you to transform a situation of possible failure into that of success—just as in a game of cricket, a good batsman converts a dangerous looking ball into a four-er or six-er by a mere flick of his bat. Strong will-power not only protects you from adverse outside influences, it empowers you to exert influence on the external environment; much in the same way as rose seed produces fragrant roses even from a heap of foul-smelling rubbish. Zeal and enthusiasm is a natural outcome of success and becomes, in turn, the motive power for further success. Moving from success to success will always keep you in good spirits. This is the formula to remain light and happy under all conditions and circumstances.
How to increase will-power? It is not a physical power to be acquired by any material means. Wasteful and negative thinking have to be eliminated to increase will-power. The dilemma, however, is that they arise when will-power is weakened, whereas it takes strong will-power to destroy them. So, how to go about it? Just as negativity reduces will-power, it is positive thinking that generates it. Inculcation of virtues like humility, contentment, detachment and compassion, a simple life-style, good company, purity of food and becoming a well-wisher of all will help you do that.
Brijmohan is the Editor of Purity newspaper and Secretary of the Rajayoga Educational Research Foundation.
